


Desire

by Rakuyou_Tenshi (Citrus_Luver)



Series: A Cabin in Montana [1]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alien Technology, Betazoid, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Oblivious Bones, Oblivious Jim, Second Chances, Starting Over, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-13
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:14:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7059949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Citrus_Luver/pseuds/Rakuyou_Tenshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After helping an alien society, Leonard McCoy gets pregnant as a 'gift' with Jim's child.  However, because of history and all that, Leonard hides his pregnancy from Jim and the crew.  However just when he thinks he can get away with it, the Enterprise crew is invited to a Betazoid wedding...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on a prompt from the Mckirk Buckleup Kink Meme community on LJ. The prompt can be found [ here ](http://buckleup-meme.livejournal.com/7569.html?thread=1373585#t1373585).

_Two hundred and twenty-four days…_

Leonard McCoy knows because that was the day his world changed forever.

Thirty-two weeks to accept the inevitable.

It had been a slow process.

He had gone through the stages:

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance.

Denial had taken the longest even with his medical degree. He was in that stage for eighteen weeks until he had to accept the impossible.

Then anger…

That was when he was sure they would find out.

It was also the six weeks sick bay had never been more empty. The rate of sickness and medical accidents had never been lower on board the Enterprise than those six weeks. Even Spock had mentioned the decrease during the weekly senior staff meetings.

Bargaining only took two weeks.

It only lasted two weeks because that’s when he started leaking.

That’s when he entered the depression stage.

And he only left that two weeks ago.

At thirty weeks, he finally reached acceptance.

Acceptance that this was his life.

Leonard sighs as he stands in his quarters. He looks at his full form through the partially cracked mirror.  

It hadn't been one of his crowning moments.  The night he rammed his fist through the mirror.  It had been a bitch to extract all the shards afterwards, and the irony was he couldn't even turn to his standard numbing agent during the process.  And he definitely was not going to sick bay for some alternate pain relief.

He hadn't replaced it out of principle either to remind himself of his momentarily lapse of judgement.

He ceases his now heavily swollen abdomen. The nearly twelve kilos of baby, fluid, placenta and other parts that he never had before.

Heavy, angry lines mark his extended form.  It's a mess of webs extending out of his perturding belly button.  He has a suspicion it was going to develop into a hernia.

He is smaller than an average woman at his stage. It was the reason he had been able to hide it for so long.

His height and his male anatomy had both been in his favor.

At least as male as he still was.

He runs his hand farther down, to the underside of his belly before quickly pulling back.. .

That is why he had finally reached acceptance.

He sits back down on the corner of his bed, cradling his swollen belly, before he reaches for his PADD. He looks down at the words he has been editing, perfecting, for days now. He knows it’ll never be perfect.

And it won’t ever make things easier.

After all these years there is a morsel of lingering regret to it all. Years ago, he wouldn’t have thought anything of it, and the irony was that was what had gotten him into this mess in the first place.

He only has two weeks to go. He has really started to entertain the idea that he could just never tell. That he could keep it a secret for eternity.

They are due back on Earth in two weeks for a scheduled and overdue overhaul of the Enterprise. When he heard that from Jim, he thought the Gods were giving him a reprieve.

He has it all planned out. A small, secluded cabin in the middle of a vast forest in Montana. It had once belonged to a great uncle that he never met, but who had still willed it to him. Leonard had never thought much about the cabin until lately.

Away from humanity, away from Jim…

He could have their baby.

_Raise their baby…_

_Their baby…_

_His and Jim’s…_

Thirty two weeks ago he would have never dreamt this could happen to him.

He had saved a princess from a civilization they had visited. As a reward, they had given him the thing he most wanted.

_A baby…_

He never thought he wanted a baby then. It had been the furthest thing from his mind after his marriage disastrously imploded and then he had signed on to transverse space with Jim Kirk.

But now, feeling the life growing inside of him, he realized he did want it. He wanted the baby.

They had created the baby using the DNA from the person he was the most close with.

_Jim Kirk…_

The man he had been in love with for almost a decade.

But Jim doesn’t do relationships.

Leonard has always know that.

He had known it even during their Academy days. Jim only does casual. He bolts at the first sign of commitment.

It’s why Leonard thought they meshed so well at the time.

Two men lost in the world.

_The lost boys…_

Except Leonard had been foolish. He had fallen in love with his best friend.

It’s why he could never tell Jim about the baby, about being the baby’s other daddy.

He wasn’t going to ruin Jim. Jim belonged to the stars, to space. Not on Earth raising a baby with Leonard.

He had made his peace. He had made his decision.

Because even though he didn’t know what would happen in the coming hours. However, he does know he wants the baby. He will stand by his decision, which was really the hardest thing about all of this.

He looks down at the PADD, at the words he has written. With a deep breath, he transmits the document before setting down the PADD.

“Time to face reality, peanut.”

He stands up, takes one last look around his quarters before leaving.

The Enterprise is already empty. Her crew, minus a few who had volunteered to stay back, were already dirtside. He had tried to volunteer, but Jim wouldn’t have any of it.

“I need my senior staff down there, Bones.”

He is glad of his choice when he waddles into the transporter room.

He will forever remember the shock radiating from the poor transporter technician’s eyes when he steps onto the transporter pad.

“Doctor McCoy,” he has managed to catch himself.

Leonard simply nods. He stands on the pad and waits for the inevitable beam out. He takes a deep breath as he hears the familiar hum of the transporter come to life.

Seconds later he finds himself on Betazed. This part of Betazed has a lush green undertone. The transporter technician had placed him just a few footsteps from the grand hotel where the wedding would be taking place.

There was a trail of floating candles guiding the way.

“Here we go.” Leonard mutters to no one in particular.

The ceremony is taking place behind the hotel, in front of a lake. It is scheduled to start in less than five minutes.

As a result, he is alone as he makes his way to the ceremony. He inwardly curses at the number of guests. It isn’t just the Enterprise crew present. There are numerous visiting dignitaries and high ranking personnel here that aren’t even from Starfleet.

He can do this.

_He can._

He takes a deep breath and walks into the lion’s den. He immediately slips into a corner seat and blends into the darkness of the night.

Within seconds of him sitting down, the fanfare starts.

He smiles as Jim walks down the aisle with the bride. His blue eyes sparkles with the candle light. It makes Leonard’s heart ache.

The wedding is beautiful. Even Leonard sheds a tear as the bride and groom kiss.

Then...

The reception starts.

The ballroom is full of guests. They are all deep into their conversation and don’t seem to notice when Leonard walks in.

_If he could just..._

“Bones!”

He feels the hairs on his back stand up.

“Bones!”

Leonard sighs. He takes a deep breath before pivoting. He watches as Jim takes a half step. The way his eyes widen. He sees his eyes scan his chest and land finally on his swollen abdomen before quickly flickering back upwards.

“Captain Kirk.”

He is saved as a short, porky man walk towards Jim. There is a smile on his face as he extends out his hand to Jim. He doesn’t even give Leonard a passing glance.

And Leonard knows it is only Jim’s will power, the reason he is the youngest captain in the Federation that he doesn’t chase after him when Leonard bolts.

He bolts back to the designated beam out coordinates. He doesn’t realize he hasn’t taken a breath until he is back on the Enterprise. He collapses heavily onto a couch in the observation deck.


	2. Chapter 2

_Bones…. Bones… Bones..._

It is the only thing running through Jim Kirk’s head as he tries to be diplomatic.

_Bones was…_

He tries to shake that thought from his mind.

Because even though he has never been the best at biology, he definitely knows about the birds and the bees, and Bones is definitely a human male.  That he knows for certain.

It's definitely impossible.

_But…_

“Captain.”

Jim bristles.

It is Spock.

_Has Spock seen?_

_Did his crew see?_

“You appear to be tired.  It would be advisory for you to retire early for the festivities, Captain,” Spock comments.

He is about to protest, but even behind Spock’s Vulcan exterior, Jim sees the signs of worry.

“And Doctor McCoy…”

Jim’s eyes momentarily widen before he catches himself.

“Lieutenant Uhura saw him rush out earlier. Said there was something… different about him.”

Jim notes the slight pause as Spock completes his thought.

“I’ll go check on him.”

“I will inform the others.”

“Thank you, Spock.”

Jim practically bolts out of the party and back onto the Enterprise.

“Captain!” The young technician, Merryweather, exclaims.

“Yes ensign.”

“It’s Doctor McCoy. He…”

Jim holds up his hand to stop the poor man. He knows now he didn’t have one too many to drink.  The poor ensign's outcry had all but confirm it because he knows Merryweather would never drink on duty.

“I’m sure there is a reasonable explanation, ensign. Have you spoken to anyone else about this?”

He immediately shakes his head furiously.

“Good, for the good doctor’s sake let’s keep it like that. Okay?”

The young man immediately nodds.

“Good man.” Jim claps his hand on the young man's shoulder before leaving the transporter room. He walks calmly to the nearest console. “Computer, locate Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

“Doctor Leonard McCoy is currently on the observation deck.”

Jim finds himself letting out a sigh. He didn’t know what to think. He half thought that maybe Bones had left already.  He knew it wasn't rational since the only way out was via shuttle craft or transporter.

It's the sensible side of him which prevents him from immediately running to the observation deck.

He instead goes to his quarters, adorns his uniform and at the last moment grabs a blanket.

For just in case…

He ignores his flashing PADD for once.

Whatever it is can't be important. They know he is attending an Betazoid wedding, and they are long affairs.

He finds Bones on the observation deck. His heart breaks a little at how alone his best friend looks.

His back is turned to Jim. He is pressed against the glass window. Long ago, Bones would never have been like this.

Long ago Bones would never had set foot against any window panels on any floating vessels.  

For a second, Jim doesn’t know what to say.

But this is Bones…

_Bones..._

Anything and everything between them has always been easy.  They had gravitated towards each other all those years ago with an ease Jim had never experienced before.  It had startled him, scared him that their broken pieces had slipped together so easily.  That their jagged edges aligned so well together. 

He steps forward. Bones doesn’t hear or see him, or maybe he chooses not to. Jim gently drapes the blanket over Bones’ naked form. In the clear glass panel, Bones’ swollen abdomen and leaking breasts are as prominent as the stars themselves.

Bones draws the blanket to himself, but doesn't say anything.

“Bones…”

He watches as the other man flinch slightly.

“Bones, can we talk?”

He wonders if Bones will continue to ignore him. He doesn’t understand why Bones won’t talk to him.

“Bones if it’s about…”. He trails off. He doesn’t really know what to say. They both know it’s against regulations. He can’t, shouldn’t be on the Enterprise in his… condition.

Not since the Kelvin…

“Bones, can we talk?”

He turns then. Jim can’t keep his gaze from traveling downwards. Down to his swollen belly, it moves. He can see the imprint of hands and feet.

“About what?” Bones finally breaks the silence.  He sounds so tired.

_Who’s the father?_

_Who did this to his Bones?_

Jim suddenly feels protective and angry.  Angry that someone had so obviously violated Bones.  Hurt that Bones didn't tell him because obviously from his state it wasn't recent.

“How? When?” Jim asks instead because it's easier.  It's expected.

“The Solosians, as a sign of gratitude.”

Jim stretches his mind. He searches for that name in his bank of names.

His eyes widen. “But that was… That was over thirty weeks ago.”

“Thirty two weeks,” Bones responds dryly.

“Thirty two…” Jim fumbles with the words.

Suddenly it all makes sense, the last thirty two weeks. Thirty two weeks where he came up with thousands of reasons for the sudden changes in Bones' behavior.

Bones refusing to drink alcohol.

Bones finding excuses to not go on away missions.

His mood swings, his sudden wardrobe change to the thicker uniforms that they usually only use for away missions on cold planets or when the climate control malfunctioned.

“Look Jim. I got this. I… I should go.”

Jim watchs as Bones bolts out of the door for the second time that night.

For the second time, Jim doesn’t run after him.

He makes it back to his quarters late. He had spent hours on the observation deck trying to figure out why Bones is acting so strange.

He has come up completely empty.

He's an open minded man.  

So Bones is ... pregnant.

It sounds so strange, but Jim has seen a lot of strange things these last few years.  He's had to deal with strange things.  It's part of his job.

This is just another incident, another obstacle.

He can deal with this.  

They can deal with this.

He's Jim Kirk.  

He doesn't believe in no win scenarios.

The PADD is still flashing when he returns to his quarters. He sighs before picking it up.

The duties of a captain never ends.

His heart nearly stops at the words.

He bolts out the door and down to Bones’ quarters.

Bones’ cryptic words…

He doesn’t even bother to knock.

He uses his captain’s override to find the room almost completely shrouded in darkness. Bones is in the middle of the room packing a bag.  He's changed into civilian clothes, a baggy t-shirt and low riding sweat pants that makes his condition all the more prominent.

Like he's serious.

Like he's...

“Absolutely not! Rejected! No!”

Bones straightens.  One of his hand goes to his back.  He looks so tired.

“Jim…”

Jim holds up his hand. “Don’t you dare Jim me! Resignation! You can’t resign. You can’t.”

“Jim…”

“You don’t have to.” Jim starts to ramble, because it’s the only thing he can do.

His mouth runs away from him. “You’re… You’re almost done. You just have to give birth and… And leave it on Earth or something.”

The final words leaves his lips before he can stop them.

He sees Bones’ eyes harden for a moment, followed by sadness.

Before he can apologize, that he didn’t mean it.

Because he doesn’t mean it.

He’s not that selfish.

“Jim, please get out.”

“Bones.”

“Jim, get out. You know what, never mind.” Bones grabs his not completely packed bag and walks forward.

And Jim, Jim decides. It won’t let Bones leave a third time this night.

He grabs Bones’ wrist. “Bones…”

“Jim… Let go.”

“No.”

“Ji…” He stops. He drops the luggage and grips his abdomen. He topples forward. Jim grabs him, keeps him from falling forward at Bones’ eyes roll backwards.

“Bones… Bones…”

Jim lifts him into his arms.  He's been a long time since he last carried Bones like this.  Not since an away mission that went awry.

He’s surprisingly light considering his condition.  Jim wonders if he's lighter now than he was back then.

He doesn't have time to think about that though.  Instead he runs to sick bay.

He runs because he can’t stop himself.  

Bones is hurt.

Bones is in trouble.

M’Benga and Chapel are there conversing in the corner.  They had volunteered to stay behind.

They turn immediately when he arrives.

He sees their eyes widen.

Jim attributes it to their training when they don’t pause for any beats nor asks any questions. “Get him on the biobed.” M’Benga orders, pointing to the one in the corner.  The one that can be partitioned off for privacy.

Jim complies.

He places Bones on his side. He sees how his hand is still wrapped over his swollen abdomen. The biobed lights up.

Before he can say anything, M’Benga barks out an order.

“IV…”

“Got it…”

Jim backs away and watches and waits. He watches as they place sensors all over Bones’ body.

His breath catches when he hears the second heart beat.

It's fast.

It's rapid.

It's strong.

It's real.

And it doesn’t belong to Bones.

_Bones… Bones…_

_He…_

_Almost lost him._

Jim decides at that moment. He doesn't care.

He didn’t realize he had cared, but now he knows he doesn't.

He can’t lie anymore.

He doesn’t want to lie anymore.

He looks down at his PADD.  The one that contained Bones' resignation.

He clicks a few buttons he previously thought he never would have to…

Then waits.

And waits…

“Captain.”

Jim’s head snaps up.

It’s Chapel.

Jim can’t read her. He's always been bad at reading her.

She just looks tired.

“Bones? The baby?”

“Both fine.”

Jim sighs.

“Do you want to see him?”

Jim opens his mouth to say ‘of course’, then catches himself at the last moment. It’s his fault Bones is here.

_Bones..._

He’s not sure Bones wants to see him,

“Captain…”

Jim looks up.

Chapel’s eyes soften.  They rarely soften around him.  Jim can't blame her.  Bones' staff are fiercely loyal to him.

“If I can give you some advice.”

Jim nods.

He could use some.

“I think Leonard feels the same way.”

His eyes widen.

“You ain’t fooling anybody. Well…” Chapel chuckles. “Maybe Leonard. He needs you. They both need you, now more than ever.”

Jim nods because he understands that.

“Thanks, Christine.”

“Any time.”

Jim walks past her and to the biobed that has now been curtained off. Even with Chapel’s words of advice and although his heart soars, Jim still hesitates for a moment. He steps inside and finds Bones awake.  He's staring at the ceiling.

There is still a IV connected to his wrist. The second heart pounds in his head.

_Constant and steady…_

As if it's telling Jim, it's here now. This is his new reality.  That it will never be just Jim and Bones.

And he realizes he's okay with that.

He is.

“Bones…”

He looks at him.  He curses as he moves and sit up.  Jim is half tempted to help him, but he knows better than to do so.  

He looks so tired and older.  Older than he had been just moments earlier.

“Bones… I’m so sorry. I… I didn’t mean it.”

“Jim…”

“Please Bones. I swear I didn’t mean it. I… I just panicked. I panicked because you were going to leave me. And… and I can’t lose you. I don’t want to lose you. I… I don’t care who the baby’s other daddy is. I...I’m resigning. I’m going to help you raise that kid and love it, like how I love you.”

Jim’s eyes widen as the last words leave his lips.

Bones’ eyes similarly widen. A frown forms on his lips. “Jim, you don’t mean that. Don’t say stuff you don’t mean.”

“But I do! I’ve already resigned! Spock’s captain now.”

“Jim…”

“Here.” Jim raises the PADD and sets it down.  Bones is stubborn.  They both are.  

Bones looks it at.  His eyes widens. “What did you do?”

“I told you. I love you. I love you. I’ve always loved you. I care more about you than … this.” Jim waves his hand.

“Jim…” Bones sighs.

He stops.

“It’s yours.” He whispers so quietly Jim swears he has misheard.

Jim’s eyes snap wide open. “What?”

“The baby… it’s yours. They made it from the person I’m the closest to, the person I love.”


	3. Chapter 3

‘The youngest captain and the youngest CMO of the flagship mysteriously resign’

It's the breaking news of the century.

Leonard rolls his eyes as he sets down his PADD.

He doesn't understand why the holonews still runs this story. 

He smiles as he feels the flutter of kicks. He ceases his now nearly forty week belly.  

He's grown since they arrived back on Earth.  Since he told Jim, since he stopped hiding his belly behind thick uniforms.

He's now measuring correctly, or at least he matches measurements for a woman at his  week range.

It means his belly is now a mess of angry red stretch marks, but he'll take them.  It'll take it all of the baby that he's carrying.

The baby is active today, more active than its been for days.  It's running out of space. 

It's any day now.

“Bones!”

His smile widens even more as the back door opens.

Jim Kirk, in a plaid shirt and blue overalls, walks inside. He’s sweaty and carrying an arm full of logs.

A sight Leonard never thought he would ever see.

They had been back on Earth for six weeks now. It was only due to the loyalty of the crew that the story didn’t break out.  That he's not locked away in some medical research facility being constantly monitored.  That there are no pictures of him.

It had been particularly hard in San Franscisco.  

Even then, they both had to cash in on all their favors.  He still was subjugated to a round of tests which were all kept under wraps; however, both Leonard and Jim knew was only a morsel of what could have been.

There had been backlash from the brass.  It was obvious they were disappointed their golden boy had resigned.  They had thrown a thousand and one rules and regulations at Jim. 

They even threw what Leonard recognized as the last card not knowing it was actually the last nail in the coffin.  They promised that the baby would be well cared for.  Because of everything that they could promise, they couldn't promise the one thing that might have changed their minds.  They couldn't take the baby with them to space.

But Jim didn't relent.

They had talked about it.

They weren't going to abandon their baby on Earth to some stranger, to be forgotten or worst used by the system due to its bloodline like Jim had been.

Sometimes Leonard still thinks he didn’t do the right thing. That he shouldn’t have told Jim that night.

“Bones, stop it.”

Bones looks down and sees Jim kneeing in front of his swollen belly.  His hands are cupped protectively on each side. “What?”

“You’re thinking again.”

“Sor…”

Jim cuts him off with a kiss, a sweaty, wet kiss.

Even in Montana, they can’t escape the summer heat. It’s now a scorching forty three degrees.

And Jim is chopping logs.

He claims it’s for winter.

But Leonard doesn’t believe him one bit.  

Jim runs his fingers over his stretched abdomen.  He smiles at the strong kicks.

Leonard beams back.

He can't say Jim hasn't surprised them.  He really has.

He hadn't realized Jim would take to it all so fast.

Hell, it had taken him thirty weeks to accept it while Jim had only taken less than a day.

Of course Leonard is a realistic.  He recognizes the longing in Jim's eyes when he looks at the stars.  He sees minor flashes of regret when news from Starfleet's next big discovery appears on the holonews.

Jim may have resigned, but Leonard knows a part of Jim's heart will always be in the stars.  He was born in space.  He's made star stuff.

As much as Leonard tried to be, he isn't a saint.

He knows he's guilty, but why can't he wish?  Why can't he wish for Jim to stay here?  Here, safe and sound in a log cabin in Montana.  Here, Leonard doesn't have to worry about the next attack, the next away mission going wrong, or the next time he has to fight death.  

Why can't he be happy when he watches Jim talk to their baby, touch his belly?

And the other day they had gone into town.  It was a small sleepy town much like where they both grew up in.

They had spent the day browsing the baby section, picking out bows and dresses and cute pretty onsies.  Jim is convinced the baby is a girl.

He attributes it to his pysche reading.

Although Leonard knows for a fact, Jim's psyche score is practically nonexistent.

Of course, Leonard, the sensible one, made sure they have some boy clothes too, for just in case.

“Let’s go for a swim.”

Leonard sees the way Jim’s eyes twirl. He pushes his thoughts to the back of his head.

Jim loves him.

Leonard knows that.

Leonard nods as Jim helps him up. He’s ready for this to be over with. Although there is a part of him that will miss all of this, the feeling of a human growing inside of him.

He’s greeted by bright blue skies, wisps of clouds, evergreen trees and a beautiful crystalline pond. Jim pulls off his clothes.

He laughs as Jim cannon balls into the lake, disturbing the clear crystalline surface.

He surfaces moments later with a fish in hand.

Leonard rolls his eyes as Jim waves the fish.

He never imagined he would see this side of Jim Kirk. The side that is living a quiet, secluded life in the back country of Montana.

The fish flaps its fins a few more times before Jim drops it back into the lake. “The water is amazing, Bones!”

He doesn’t doubt it.

And it is hot.

Even the Georgia upbringing in him doesn't help him now.

He pulls off his own matching plaid shirt and overalls, dumps them next to Jim’s before walking forward.

Jim grins.

There is a Cheshire Cat smile on his face…

“Jim, if you…”

Before he can finish, Jim splashes him completely.

The competitive side of Leonard takes over. He eases himself into the water.

Jim’s lets out a yelp as Leonard chases after him. In the water, he isn’t as slow.  The water seems to carry his heavy belly for him.  He feels the most free in the water.

He immediately grabs Jim around the waist. Jim smiles, before leaning backwards to kiss him. It’s wet and sloppy. It tastes of lake water, but Leonard melts into it.

He gasps as he feels Jim run his fingers over his folds of newly formed skin.

“Jim… Jim… Jim…” He chants as Jim runs of his fingers faster and faster.

He’s on the break of coming.

“I got you Bones.” Jim mutters. His own voice croaking.

“Want you…” Leonard mutters back. He sees stars.

Jim nods. He treads forward. Leonard feels Jim’s hard cock brush up against his inner thigh before sliding inside. He gasps at the fullness, the tightness of it all.

He rolls his hips. Leonard sees stars as Jim thrusts forward.

Slowly…

Painfully slow…

He whimpers…

Moans…

As Jim kneads the tips of his swollen breasts.

“J...Jim…”

He cries out as Jim hits that sweet spot. He feels Jim’s seed coat him. Sticky and spent, they stay like that for a long time.

_Together…_

_Together…_

_Forever and always…_

They come out of the lake when their skin starts to prune.

They lay on the green grass, Leonard’s head on Jim’s lap. Their hands clasped around Leonard’s abdomen. The tiny kicks of their unborn baby taps against the underside of their hands…

This…

This is life…

A life Leonard had never dreamt of having.

That night as they get into bed. Leonard sighs as he looks around the darken room.  The only light source comes from the moon.  It's only a day away from being completely full.

This is happiness.

He knows it.

He knows Jim doesn’t regret it.

He still remembers the rest of that night’s conversation like it was yesterday.

_“The baby… it’s yours. They made it from the person I’m the closest to, the person I love.”_

_The silence in the sick bay is almost palpable. Jim’s blue eyes widen, the way it dilutes. He looks like he's ready to run again._

_“It’s mine? You… Love me?”  There is a slight tremble in his face that Leonard rarely hears.  It's unheard of for a captain for a ship with so many souls._

_He sees the hope. The happiness in Jim’s eyes, how his smile widens. It’s a real smile. Not a smile for the diplomats or for the admirals._

_“Yeah Jim. It’s yours.”_

They didn’t talk about the what ifs, what could have beens, or anything like that.

They don’t talk about how Leonard almost disappeared without ever telling Jim the truth.

They only concentrate on the nows. The now and the time they have in the future, and for Leonard that is everything.

Later after Leonard has been discharged, and they return to Jim's quarters where they have a longer talk.  They talk about logistics.

Leonard tells him about the small cabin in Montana.  The one he has been preparing and fixing.  He shyly, like a teenage boy again, invites Jim to live with him.  Jim's smile beams with happiness.

It's not all smiles and happiness though.   They talk about Jim's insecurities.  His fears of fatherhood, of being like his parents, about not being able to live up.

And Leonard, Leonard finally tells him about what ended his marriage.  

He smiles before settling deeper into the bed. Jim turns and wraps his arms protectively around his growing abdomen.

There is a ghost of a smile on his face as he falls asleep.

To tomorrow, to their life together…

**_FIN_ **


End file.
